


To Admit to Love is to Admit to the Hole they'll Leave Behind

by OJared



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adorable Castiel, Awkward Castiel, Awkward Sexual Situations, Cas gets a bit snarky, Dean's Taste in Music, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gen, Its funny I swear, Ive never done this before, M/M, Protective Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-08-30
Packaged: 2018-04-18 00:26:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4685321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OJared/pseuds/OJared
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He feels neglected and part of him knows that Cas can't help it but he is a human being.  He craves attention and he hates to admit it.  </p>
<p>He soon begins to realise that he hates admitting a lot of things.</p>
<p>"Sam, just leave it."</p>
<p>"No way, man.  Not until you explain."</p>
<p>Or the one where Dean is scared to lose Cas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Admit to Love is to Admit to the Hole they'll Leave Behind

Admitting to being in love, for Dean at least, was almost as hard as accepting that this person, this amazing, kind person was male. Or in a man's body, but either way, there was no changing Cas' vessel. Dean didn't want that though, he loved Cas exactly how he was.

Cas, on the other hand, could not care less about Dean's genitalia... _most of the time_. And he was more surprised than scared when he felt the quickening of his heartbeat when Dean's hand brushed against his and that he knew, somehow, that it was love. Before, he had not even considered love with another an option. Angels were solitary beings, like bricks in a wall. You need multiple bricks to make a wall but there's also no wall without the cement separating them. But, when he told Dean of his thoughts, he had sat back and laughed and mentioned something about them being a _dry stone wall,_ then he had gotten up and walked off into the bathroom, only to stick his head out moments later, a toothbrush dangling from his teeth, and ask a muffled question;

"We on a jy stun worl are we?"

Dean had noted how hot it was when Cas tilted his head in confusion months before but was still amazed with what it did to him. Cas had also questioned what a _jy stun worl_ was, which was adorable... and since when did Dean find things adorable? Nevertheless, he had smiled so wide that his toothbrush fell out of his mouth.

Other times, Cas' confusion was more frustrating than anything.

"I don't understand why you find this so enjoyable. My ears are burning."

"Cas, just shut up and enjoy it."

"It's confusing me, Dean. I cannot enjoy it."

Dean can't help but see the resemblance between Cas and a small know-it-all child with a sharp tongue. In the moment, Dean hates both with the same passion.

He feels neglected and part of him knows that Cas can't help it but he is a human being. He craves attention and he hates to admit it.

He soon begins to realise that he hates admitting a lot of things.

"Sam, just leave it."

"No way, man. Not until you explain."

Cas, awkwardly stood in the corner, trying to silently button his shirt. The small rustles do not disturb the brothers, _luckily_ , though they seem shocked when he adds his own opinion. They're even more shocked at the slight sarcastic twinge to his tone; _he's spending way too much time with Dean._

"I wouldn't say an explanation is needed. You saw what Dean and I were doing."

Sam takes a step back as Dean slithers away through the motel room door.

Sam had never seen Cas take such a defensive stance. He was a full on attack or a sit and talk it through kind of guy.

"But, why?" He manages to get out and Cas' eyes widen.

One question is all it took for Cas to start questioning his whole existence.

Why? He had taken Sam's question the entirely wrong way.

Why were he and Dean keeping their romantic relationship from the one person who meant the most to both of them?

Did this mean that Dean didn't love him?

Did it mean that Dean wasn't serious?

In the end, it turns out his worrying was for nothing as Dean insists that those weren't the reasons but Cas, the sly bastard he is, manages to have Dean practically begging at his feet, pleading his case. That he was scared, so unbelievably scared, of admitting he loved Cas because if he loved him, he would lose him, right? He was pretty sure that was how it worked.

The only exception was Sam.

Actually, one thing he wasn't afraid to admit, two years down the line, was that Cas was also an exception to that rule.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is the first fix I've published on here and I would love some feedback because I was so unsure of the fluidity of this. Also, I would love if you wanted to request something for me to write? If you could do it on my tumblr (I'll be posting this on there as well) then that would be much appreciated. My tumblr is destielficsrus  
> Also, this fix was not beta read and any mistakes are mine. If you could point them out to me, I will correct them.


End file.
